Restraining Relationships

Now, what can I say about the weekend gone by, "wow" could be one word.
It is strange when you think of a mirror, that the simplicity of a mirror is the one that allows for the best tool of learning. Now, as a good friend of mine always says, "Pain is the best Teacher". Although I do not always agree with that, the lesson of this weekend was quite profound and I must admit, it stung quite a bit!

Why do we limit ourselves? You might say, " ... but I can not do that, get the specialist ... ", or " ... I have tried it before, I can not do it ... ". We don't think about the amount of limiting thoughts that we have in one single day, how much we limit ourselves.
Now considering the amount of soul mirrors we have available to us, it is almost amazing to hear people say, " ... but I just didn't know ..." or " ... I didn't see this coming ... ". We tend to look elsewhere especially when things get a bit close to home and we almost "ignore" the possibility that this is the very message that is actually meant for us.

Now, I try my very best to do the opposite, and I will be the first one to admit, sometimes ... it is extremely hard and damn painful at times. Now the weekend gone past I had the opportunity to visit with family and as usual arguments did play a significant role. Just to give you a bit of background, we were never taught to sit in the back of the bus, we were taught to have an opinion. Nobody was more important than the other. I still remember the first time I brought my ex-wife to her first Sunday lunch, she sat there almost dumbstruck and dropped jaw at the amount of dialog that is running simultaneously between the family members. It is almost as if the amount of noise is similar to one of the battle scenes from Braveheart.

But as we had our usual rowdy discussions, there was a time when a noticed that the amount of limits that was put on relationships was astounding. So, customary, I moved to a more solitary place for a couple of moments and asked the powers that Be, " ... where am I limiting the relationships in my life ? ". As you probably guessed, no answer, but it bugged me greatly so I kept at it for about five hours, not continuously, there was a lovely Sunday lunch prepared you know.

As the evening fell, I came to the realization, that the limits was being set inside myself. I was limiting myself, my own worst enemy! No there we go, what now. After some time late into the night and lots of coffee, I got to the point of "I am not worthy". My questioned my own self worth, that was the essence. I did not believe I can own a million, billion or even a trillion bucks. No Ferrari, no beach house, no island of my own, I was telling the big great void, I do not want abundance. Well, call that a slap in the face!

This morning  I vowed to counter any "negative" thought or word or action with a small mantra of " ... I am worthy ... ".

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