The Path

As human as one's path is, after feeling the joy of the birth, we so quickly slide down the scale of the graph to form that cycle; As soon as the glass shell of protection was placed around my pearl, I started to fear the amount of time that would pass until I could hold the gem of tomorrow against my bosom one more time.

Fear of a thief in the night, swapping my pearl for another, even in the case of a more valuable pearl, would not be my pearl. My pearl, was destined to be with me, not to be contained, but to water the tree of knowledge within that small fledgling, to one day be able to pass from the nest into the sky that contains the Mother Earth in all her glory.

Fear is almost as natural as breathing, we know we have to, but we don't realize it's not limited.

As the congratulatory promises of the moment passes from tribe members and factions, we exchange honest greetings of well being, “Namaste” in love and light. We did not care to be menacing to one another, we did not care to hurt the other, at that moment we did not fear, not hate, nor despise, we loved, we truly loved.

A New Day

Looking back at the voices of anger, despair and resentment, I wonder how and why I listened to them. The personalities of so much pain, darkness and general chaos.

In the midst of all that many voices, I tend was waiting for the scream of a little person, waiting in silence, eagerness, to see the breath of the soul of a little fairy princess, my new born fairy queen, to open her eyes, draw her first breath, and let the veil of forgetfulness fall upon her eyes and ears, to ensure her experience is a full and fruitful one.

The path, back to the source, the beginning of all, the road back home.

Isn't it strange in all our quests, the one thing we forget first is that this is only a game.

I remember the anxious await of that little soul's scream to announce to the world the arrival of a newcomer to the physical, and let the heavens sing joyously and lovingly that another is here to experience.

My heart was beating at the pace of a thousand wildebeest, charging the blades of grass on the open savanna of a beautiful African scene. Where the herd would determine the best route for the heard, not dictated by one or a few.

The sweat was running freely like the cascades of the Augrabies, down the steps into the clear pools. And as I was holding the hand of my love the tension in my muscles grew with each passing moment as the mountain rises as you come closer to climb it, almost growing to enhance the challenge.

The way in is very different than the way out.

When fear gripped my throat, when the essence of life was beginning to leave my body in the shear anticipation of a soul's first and last death experience, came not a shout to the heavens, but a small whimper of a sound, to ensure peace and harmony in the folk of the little ones and to rejoice the addition of another member of their clan.

Oh, but my pride could not be contained, however vain, immature and silly it could have been. It does not matter the amount of recurrences the medical helpers have experienced it, I could not wait, I could not let go of the joy, the encompassing joy and love I felt. The oceans of all the world was not big enough, the skies of the planet was not wide enough, the Universe in itself had to expand to ensure that that love could be accommodated in the seventh heaven.

Running

The only thing left to do was to run, to run further and faster away than the day of tomorrow could come.

Over oceans, sailing in the majestic blue of life, diving under the bluest oceans, seeing the fascination of the simplicity of a coral reef, seeing how a community should act and live, but only allowing me as a spectator, never allowing me to stay indefinitely, only short moments of peace is allowed for me to enjoy the calm silence of the ocean. Visiting non-included destinations of picture books, see people in their prime as they lived their lives in such harmony, peace and general fulfillment; Oh, Dearest God, you cursed me, with this emptiness I carry.

Ah yes, I do not carry shame of another's act of indecency, I do not carry resentment, I do not carry failure, but O My God my emptiness, hooked them all as they burned my journey towards my life, my soul, mine, you hear me, “Mine!”,

I wanted to be special, I wanted to, let me rephrase that, “I want to be special”, I want to stand out in the crowd, I want people to look at me, and ask me questions, I want them to say, “... you know, he made it, so can ...”. I want fame, not amongst friends and family, the world.

If my fame, my specialty, my uniqueness, bring separateness from God ,so be it, I want it.

My anger is a direct result of Your forcefulness.