The Past

To help others without the strength is a quest that will play out as a wave breaking on a sandy beach; it may start out as a mighty force of nature, but will eventually just slowly run up the beach and dissipate, as if it never was.

The boy always wondered why he could not just play, but always observe, plan and analyze every thing, and yet at the back of his mind was the question looming like a thunderstorm in the distance, threatening to spoil a sunny afternoon. At the one end it will cool everything down with the anticipation of cleansing and starting a new cycle, but ask yourself does rain bring joy to children busy playing in the water?

With his second year of primary education, another light went out in a night of boyish delinquency that ended up where a relationship ended another and yet the boy decided that very afternoon, not to participate, oblivious to the tragedy waiting to unfold, that would change the lives of so many. Yes, as he recalls now, many lives were touched by a wonderful friend, and as the years passed he learned what that meant to him.

As so many milestones throughout the journey he took, showed the mystery slowly, but yet patiently unfolding in retrospect. It is somewhat ironic that the events that passed can give us tools to handle the future.

It is almost like giving a child a stick and say “You’ll know when to use it.” With no immediate resolution to the questions that may arise one has to put the stick in your belt and continue with your journey.

This is a mere composite escalation of uncertainty of knowledge attained, with no clear purpose of how to use it. But with only pain and guilt acquired in the terrible night of tragedy, the boy decided to self inflict pain on his loved ones. Not by a show of force, but rather a display of hopelessness and regret.

As the weapon of the boy’s eternity is stolen from a secure place and loneliness accompanying him in his detour a shocking decision was made to continue on the path of destruction, where no thought was given to the consequences of his actions to what may come or to what is left behind.

With an invisible light of compassion, the boy was spared by diverting the projectile of pain, rather than a permanent scaring of a corpse. The scar is remains to this day.

And yet the question remained. A scenario with so many possible outcomes; some permanent in nature could have transpired, but yet he remains.